Running, ruins of an ancient civilization, and other randomness.

I don't always run. But when I do, it makes me happy.

You would think that knowledge would be enough to get me out the door more often, but I'm in a funk. And as a result, I pretty much don't feel like doing anything. Even the things I know will make me feel better. Like running.

The other day I was thinking about how I feel like a fraud lately. Like I can't call myself a runner anymore.

If I only run three days most weeks, am I a real runner? If I don't get excited before my runs, am I a real runner? If most runs feel hard, am I a real runner?

I've seen all the quotes about how it doesn't matter how far or fast or often you run that makes you a runner. But seeing isn't always believing. Somehow I always believe things like that when applying them to everyone except myself.

So I decided to think about what I want to accomplish as a "runner" this year. I have some races on the calendar. Which is a big deal considering my last race was the Boston Marathon last April. And I have some big goals, which will helpfully motivate me out of my funk and help me get focused in multiple ways. 

Luckily I have a supportive family. Yesterday, I was feeling overwhelmed and didn't feel like running or spending the time it would take, but Scott pushed me out the door because he knew I'd be glad I went. And of course I was. Tomorrow I'll log my third run of the week. And next week I'll make a plan to keep working toward my goals. Then I'll take it one day at a time. Because that's pretty much the only way I can handle it these days.

Now on to much lighter and happier things. Some random...

...and some funny, because it is Friday after all.

Resolutions, smesolutions.

I didn't set any New Year's resolutions. I thought about it. But for me, I don't need a new year to set a goal. I have lots of goals, but they serve a specific purpose, and I have specific plans in place to achieve them.

I know for some people a new year is a great motivator. It is like a clean slate. But for me, it unfortunately falls during the most dreary month of the year, with the let down of my favorite time of the year being over on top of it, so my mood and motivation aren't where they should be for setting new goals and tackling them with everything I've got. 

Last week I didn't work out or run Friday or Saturday. Simply because I didn't feel like it. What I really wanted to do both days was crawl back into bed or curl up on the couch and be a slug for the entire day. I didn't. I managed to be mildly productive and went to work and fed my family and such. But I'll admit: I did the bare minimum.

Any fitness or health-related resolutions I may have been tempted to set for would have gone right down the drain the first week of the new year.

Instead, I am focusing on one day at a time. Figuring out what works for me in the moment and doing the best I can for that day. I did manage to overcome my ongoing lack of motivation yesterday and had a strong seven mile run. And was reminded that when I want to do it the least is when I need it the most. And I'm getting my eating back on track. Again, one day at a time. 

I've found that looking beyond that only makes me focus too much on food and then I end up overeating, sabotaging my lofty long term goals, or giving up completely when I don't meet all my expectations. When I'm hungry, I decide what I'm going to eat. The extent of any long-range planning is figuring out a few possibilities for dinners this week so I could get the necessary ingredients at the grocery store yesterday. But those meals are just options. If we end up having something else because it works better with our schedule or simply sounds better, I'll roll with it.

I hope you are all having a wonderful new year and are being nice to yourself. If there's one resultion it couldn't hurt to have, that would be it. Be nice to yourself.