Skip to main content

Don't make me feel bad about my daily battle. I feel bad enough.


Someone I used to be close to sent me a text last fall criticizing the fact that I complain about having body issues. It was worded quite cruelly and was part of a very painful, damaging conversation.

First, that person is no longer an influence in my life. And second, I don't care what a person looks like or acts like on the outside because you NEVER know what they deal with on the inside.




My struggle with my body image is a battle every. single. day. Do I wish I could love my body the way it is? Of course. Do I wish I could not see just my flaws when I look in the mirror? Absolutely. Do I wish it didn't have such a profound affect on me some days? Yes!!

Some days and weeks it affects me more than others. The reason I'm posting this now is because it has been particularly challenging lately. I can't pinpoint exactly why, but putting on a swimsuit certainly never helps. And summer requires that more than usual.

Where I live certainly doesn't help either. There are A LOT of thin, beautiful women in Utah. My friends and I actually had a conversation about how hard it is to go to the pool here and not feel bad about ourselves. And all three of us are fit and at healthy weights. Any time I travel somewhere, I notice the difference in the number of model perfect women in Utah vs. almost everywhere else. And since I can feel bad about myself just walking through Target because I literally can't go anywhere without comparing myself to other women, trust me on this. I told you. It is a constant, daily struggle.


I don't like comparing myself to other women. I want to be able to go swimming or simply grocery shopping without feeling bad about myself. I work on it every day. If there was a switch I could flip to change the way I think and feel about my body you bet I would flip that sucker and break the switch right off!

However, my body image challenges may be something I struggle with for the rest of my life. It may be part of my mortal test. I hope not, but the reality is that it may always be something I have to work on and struggle to overcome. Yet I will continue to do the things that will help me learn to love my body, and I will refrain from verbalizing my struggles in front of my girls.




In spite of my own body hatred, which is the most accurate way to describe it, I can still set a good example for my girls by focusing on the positive, making an effort to be healthy, and modeling positive eating habits. Just because my body image is my challenge does not mean it has to be a challenge for my daughters. I can still set a positive example of finding the good about my own body and can continue helping them focus on all the amazing things their bodies can do and what beautiful instruments their bodies are.


Comments

  1. I could've written this post. The only difference is my friend complained that I made her feel bad because I talked about my workouts & runs. She's no longer an influence in my life either. Sad but life is too short to have friends that make it so hard to be friends.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love you Candice! Just the way you are! I have often reminded my girls about the wonderful qualities we inherited through our genes. Some being "c ankles" and "thunder thighs" and some being strength and courage. You are a great example to me!

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is a great post and something I struggle with everyday too. You are beautiful and you look fit to me. I am with you on focusing on the positive. Especially doing that for our daughters. Its worth it. When a friend is true, you should be able to say whatever you want and not be judged or critized by that "friend". Loved reading this!

    ReplyDelete
  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  5. New reader here, a few years ago I moved from Utah and it made a big difference in how I felt about my body, I am still far from perfect but everyone really does look so perfect in Utah. I was recently commenting to my husband on how great it was to not tear myself apart every Sunday morning before church because I was going to compare myself with everyone else. I think some of it may come from being in a ward with a greater geographical area, there is more diversity in age, size, economic status etc. I still struggle but I try to see myself through my kids eyes and they adore me, so there's that.

    ReplyDelete
  6. New reader here, a few years ago I moved from Utah and it made a big difference in how I felt about my body, I am still far from perfect but everyone really does look so perfect in Utah. I was recently commenting to my husband on how great it was to not tear myself apart every Sunday morning before church because I was going to compare myself with everyone else. I think some of it may come from being in a ward with a greater geographical area, there is more diversity in age, size, economic status etc. I still struggle but I try to see myself through my kids eyes and they adore me, so there's that.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

I love your comments! They make my day, so be sure to let me know you stopped by. And I always try to respond to your comments, so let me know if you have any questions for me or if there is anything you want to see on here!

Popular posts from this blog

Carpet Burn On My Butt (and a giveaway)

After two lame, pathetic, lackluster weeks of running, I woke up excited to run yesterday. And today, I wore my running clothes all morning in anticipation of my nap time run today. Even in spite of sore glutes and tired quads from getting in some P90X Core Synergistics last night, I couldn't wait to get moving on Millie. I am a planner. Today I had a plan to get my run in while my girls slept, and my day was organized accordingly. I am also a creature of habit. The first thing I do when I roll out of bed every single day is make my bed and my girls' beds. If I do something else first, it throws off the entire morning. I am a creature of habit when it comes to my running routines as well. There are a few things that differ depending on whether I am running on Millie or outside, whether my girls are asleep or not, and whether or not they are joining me in the jogger. Yet, no matter when, where, how far or with whom I run, some things are always the same. My hair goes into a pony

I wasn't sure going in...

Yep, I'm checking in. Why? Because I did something completely out of my comfort zone that I wanted to share with you. Last week I went to a place near Salt Lake called Dexa Body, where I got a DEXA Scan. For those unfamiliar with what that is, I asked Google to help us out:  "Dual-energy X-ray absorptiometry  ( DXA , previously  DEXA ) is a means of measuring  bone mineral density  (BMD). Two  X-ray  beams, with different  energy levels , are aimed at the patient's  bones . When  soft tissue   absorption is subtracted out, the  bone mineral density  (BMD) can be determined from the absorption of each beam by bone. Dual-energy X-ray absorptiometry is the most widely used and most thoroughly studied bone density measurement technology." Since that is pretty medical sounding, here's my take. A DEXA Scan is a tool to measure your total body composition. It specifically breaks down the regional composition of your lean and fat tissue. It gives a fat distribution

Social Media: Some good, a lot of bad, and way too much ugly

There are a lot of good things that come from social media. We can connect with people we have lost touch with. We can unite as a group (runners!!) with a comment interest. We can promote a good cause. Sadly though, what social media does best is makes us feel bad about ourselves and makes us feel negatively towards others. This isn't just my opinion, although I can unquestionably support the truth behind this based on my own experience. I have spent way too much time feeling bad about myself as a result of comparing myself to others based on their Instagram or Facebook versions of themselves. And there are several people I have started feeling negatively about or have become completely annoyed with because of their IG and FB posts. It isn't just me though. There are actual studies that can back me up on the negative impact social media can have. I have read dozens of articles reviewing many different studies that show the overwhelmingly negative (vs. positive) effec