Losing weight is hard. It just is. If you try to tell me otherwise, I'll know you are lying. And maybe want to punch you.
I remember distinctly a night last fall when I went to dinner with some friends and they made a comment about how I had lost some weight and I replied with something about how I still have some work to do to get where I want to be. I realized then that no matter how I look, there is always something I want to change or work on or fix. I don't think I'm alone in that I'm never completely happy with how I look.
I got to what I always thought would be my "perfect" weight last year. I have gained a few pounds since then (I'm not sure exactly how much I've gained because I haven't weighed myself in a few months because it always just ends up putting me in a bad mood for the rest of the day), and when I look back at pictures from that time, I can't understand why I wasn't completely happy with how I looked.
I know I should be nicer to myself. I know I should love my body for all that it can do. And a lot of the time I do love my body, in spite of its many flaws.
But the reality is I have mornings when I don't want to get dressed because I'm afraid anything I put on will make me grumpy because it fits a little too tight. Or I go out with friends and feel uncomfortable the entire time because I feel like my fat rolls are bulging out or I worry we might take a picture, which will just remind me that my face is looking a little fuller.
This is reality. For a lot of us. All I can do is try a little harder each day to love myself a little more, cut myself a little more slack, and remember I'm not in this boat alone and that I can continue to make progress.
One of my biggest problems is that any time I get discouraged or down on myself, I give up temporarily. I eat crappy and slack on my workouts. Unfortunately I'm human.
The important thing is to keep moving forward, trying to make smart, healthy choices. And take it one day at a time. Too many women struggle with serious eating disorders and body issues. I don't want to ever fall into that trap. It makes me so sad to see some of the things people post on social media, claiming they are eating clean and working hard when what they are really doing is practically starving themselves and battling exercise addiction.
There's such a teeny tiny fine line between what is healthy and good and what is disordered and destructive. I hope to always stay far clear of that line. I hope I can set an example of having a positive body image for my girls. And if I help even one other person in the meantime, I would feel like I've hit the jackpot.
I guess what this rambling post is all about is to remind myself these few things:
Losing weight is hard. And takes time.
There's no such thing as your perfect body. So find something to love about your body and focus on that.
Take things one day at a time. Progress (not perfection) happens in baby steps.
You'll slip up. Just don't give up.
Tell me one thing you love about your body!! I love my arms. They are tone and strong. And they let me hug and hold the people I love!!
Thanks for this post! I have been in the "given up" stage recently and need to get back at healthy eating and exercise. You are always such an inspiration to me. You are beautiful inside and out! :-)
ReplyDeleteSeriously. It's like you are inside my head. These are the exact thoughts I am constantly having. When I first got pregnant I thought 'yes! A break from my brain constantly telling me I should lose weight or look a certain way!' Ya. That didn't happen. Maybe it is even worse? Who knows. All I know is it can be tiring, but I too don't want my girls thinking about themselves the way I think about me so I will continue to try and be nicer to myself and set that example.
ReplyDeleteAnd I hope you know that I think you are gorgeous inside and out. You are one of my favorite people to be around. And i would be happy as can be if my body shape/size resembled yours. So you should definitely be proud of more than just your arms, which ironically enough used to be my favorite body part too...and then even they changed this pregnancy. Lol. Oh well. Let's just hope they reappear after the baby comes;)
For the record, I was admiring your arms at Heather's the other night. I swear!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad I have you to say nice things to me. Seriously though. I'm so grateful we are friends because you are amazing and hilarious and I just love you. And you have a rockin' bod. Pregnant and non. And I have no doubt that pre-preggo body will come right back. Just be patient and nice to yourself until it does.
PS - I can't wait to run together!!!!!!
I am the same way. I don't see progress so I give up. Or something sets me back, and causes me to give up. It feels like a never ending cycle. For me personally, if I have a small goal to work towards then I stay on track better.
ReplyDeleteI can relate all too well to it feeling like a never ending cycle. Don't give up!!!
ReplyDeleteDon't give up!! I love you!!!
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