I Want to Be Spanked

Those words ran through my head the last four miles of my six miler this week. But the words actually look more like this:

"I want to be spanked."

That is how they look in the book I tried to read on the treadmill. Magazine type is too small, but I thought I might be able to follow the print in a hardback book. I made it about two pages. After that, I spent the rest of my run reading the top line of the open page over and over and over . The rest of the page was bouncing too much to read, but for some reason that sentence, all alone at the top of the page, came through as clear as can be. I know I should have just shut the book, but I was afraid of becoming one of those "I flew off the back of my treadmill" stories. So I just want to thank Christopher Moore for spicing up my run a little.

By the way, I love Christopher Moore's books. Lamb is one of my favorite books ever. I have read all Moore's books and highly recommend them, but let me follow that by quoting from the "Warning" at the beginning of Fool (the source of the spanking episode):

"This is a bawdy tale. Herein you will find gratuitous shagging, murder, spanking, maiming, treason, and heretofore unexplored heights of vulgarity and profanity, as well as non-traditional grammar, split infinitives, and the odd wank. If that sort of thing bothers you, then gentle reader pass by, for we endeavor only to entertain, not to offend. That said, if that's the sort of thing you think you might enjoy, then you have happened upon the perfect story."

Much of that warning goes for his other books as well. I have been very careful in my personal life when recommending Moore's books because they aren't for everyone, so please don't blame me if you give them a try and they aren't for you.

I'm off to read; I already ran.