Losing weight is hard. It just is. If you try to tell me otherwise, I'll know you are lying. And maybe want to punch you.
I remember distinctly a night last fall when I went to dinner with some friends and they made a comment about how I had lost some weight and I replied with something about how I still have some work to do to get where I want to be. I realized then that no matter how I look, there is always something I want to change or work on or fix. I don't think I'm alone in that I'm never completely happy with how I look.
I got to what I always thought would be my "perfect" weight last year. I have gained a few pounds since then (I'm not sure exactly how much I've gained because I haven't weighed myself in a few months because it always just ends up putting me in a bad mood for the rest of the day), and when I look back at pictures from that time, I can't understand why I wasn't completely happy with how I looked.
I know I should be nicer to myself. I know I should love my body for all that it can do. And a lot of the time I do love my body, in spite of its many flaws.
But the reality is I have mornings when I don't want to get dressed because I'm afraid anything I put on will make me grumpy because it fits a little too tight. Or I go out with friends and feel uncomfortable the entire time because I feel like my fat rolls are bulging out or I worry we might take a picture, which will just remind me that my face is looking a little fuller.
This is reality. For a lot of us. All I can do is try a little harder each day to love myself a little more, cut myself a little more slack, and remember I'm not in this boat alone and that I can continue to make progress.
One of my biggest problems is that any time I get discouraged or down on myself, I give up temporarily. I eat crappy and slack on my workouts. Unfortunately I'm human.
The important thing is to keep moving forward, trying to make smart, healthy choices. And take it one day at a time. Too many women struggle with serious eating disorders and body issues. I don't want to ever fall into that trap. It makes me so sad to see some of the things people post on social media, claiming they are eating clean and working hard when what they are really doing is practically starving themselves and battling exercise addiction.
There's such a teeny tiny fine line between what is healthy and good and what is disordered and destructive. I hope to always stay far clear of that line. I hope I can set an example of having a positive body image for my girls. And if I help even one other person in the meantime, I would feel like I've hit the jackpot.
I guess what this rambling post is all about is to remind myself these few things:
Losing weight is hard. And takes time.
There's no such thing as your perfect body. So find something to love about your body and focus on that.
Take things one day at a time. Progress (not perfection) happens in baby steps.
You'll slip up. Just don't give up.
Tell me one thing you love about your body!! I love my arms. They are tone and strong. And they let me hug and hold the people I love!!